The One Thing to remember when you are Triggered
aka The underrated power of choice
My moods never fail to catch me by surprise sometimes. I often am prone to feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and like all my nerve endings are frazzled and sticking out for anyone to just touch and get zapped ,,, and trigger the subsequent (over)reaction by me, myself & I.
Why is it so easy to get bothered? For us highly sensitive moms, kids fighting or arguing or speaking harshly to each other is just one thing that can make me go from calm and happy to pretty irritated and grouchy. So then, why is it so difficult to stay centered among the arguing and cacophony?
For us moms, peace and calm is just how we like things, but while raising children, this is not an easy thing to come by … we have to adapt to the loud noises, the whining, the complaining (eeeeeek) and the like. It is simply part of raising small humans that I have to accept (still working on this one).
My heart wants everyone to speak kindly to each other, be encouraging and helpful and grateful. Just writing that makes me laugh because I am a grown and continuously evolving adult and I am not that way 100%, how in the world would I expect my kids to be that way?
However, and this is the BIG However, we ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a choice. Choice. It is the most powerful thing we have in our walk as human beings on this earth! In every little moment we have a choice. Maybe it’s just the littlest choice ever but it is still a choice.
Last night I was feeling not up for making a meal only to have the kids subject to any of the kids complaining about whatever was made … so my husband and I decided it was just going to be pizza night, the take out pizza kind of pizza night. No more attempts to make homemade pizza would be made by this mom, this night, I had decided. Yes, I was in a great mood. I announced that anyone complaining about food would be in charge of making the next meal and be up for critique. Yes, not my proudest moment, but I was making a point. (Anyone else get triggered by people complaining about the meal you prepared?!)
However, I let this bad energy continue to affect me and maybe I didn’t scream and yell, I did get visibly upset at some of the kids’ post-dinner squabbling and let it get me rattled, and I made the choice to go take a shower and make an early bedtime for myself so I didn’t cause emotional damage to any more kids and dwell in my “amped up” feelings longer than would be harmful to my mental and physical health.
While I am not proud of my negativity, I am trying to remember the power in choice, and making a choice to remove myself from the situation to calm myself down was at least a start.
The next choice I made was to listen to a guided meditation which helped me slowly ease into a more calmer energy. CHOICE. Jen, just keep CHOOSING the next right step. If you are like me and deeply desire a harmonious loving home, positive choices are just vital.
Today, as I write this I am CHOOSING to be stubborn in my choices to be a positive , uplifting and calmer person and (step)mother , wife. Choices today include: remaining calm when my daughter woke up tearful and sad that she woke up late, choosing to remain happy and positive as the kids all got ready for school and wished them well on their way off! I also chose to go on a little icy morning walk and appreciate the pink sky and full moon morning. ANd I choose to make a healthy smoothie for breakfast. (pats self on back)
Maybe you’re laughing because all these don’t seem like profound choices to you, and they aren’t .However, I do know this that all the little choices we make add up to some profound changes ! (Compound Effect) and make a difference in our own energy and mental health and that energy spreads to others. Mother Theresa once said “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family!” And that starts with making the small little choices that add up to lots of love. More to come, I’m still working on this (as always). Here’s to the power of (mini) choice!